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By Rabbi Rami Pavolotzky,
B’nei Israel Congregation, Costa Rica

Translated by Inés Baum - Proofreading by Ellen Zindler

This week we read about the reunion of the brothers Jacob and Esau. As you well know, Jacob flees from his home before the death threats issued by Esau, and lives far away from his homeland for 20 years. God orders Jacob to return (Bereshit 31:3), and he obeys.

The Torah tells us that this reunion was not easy for Jacob. In fact, he fears for his life and that of his family, and prepares for the worst. He sends messengers and gifts to his brother, and strategically divides his camp in case they are attacked. As we all know, the story has a happy ending, even though the brothers will not live together ever again.

What I would like to consider here is Jacob’s courage. It is true that God orders him to return to his homeland, but He never asks him to meet with his brother or make peace with him. In truth, Jacob chooses to do so himself, surely wishing to heal the wound left by his surly relationship with his brother.

I believe Jacob’s attitude sets an example: he is no martyr exposing himself to the worst, but rather he protects himself in case things don’t turn out well. But on the other hand, he is not a coward who chooses to avoid his brother forever. If I think about the people and families I know, most have chosen one of these extremes. They spend their lives looking for the chance to “kill or die”, or they live trying to continuously avoid those they do not want to see.

I’m sure all of us share some such personal or family story, of people who drifted apart and never saw each other again. Sometimes for painful reasons; others, for foolish ones. But be it as it may, what is most difficult is that reunion, facing the ghosts from our past. That is the most difficult part.

Jacob struggled against it for 20 years, don’t think it was easy for him. He had to live twenty long years far from his family and homeland, in order to be courageous enough to face his past. He had to wrestle with an angel, perhaps as a symbol of his brother, or of himself, before reuniting with Esau. Some may think that the outcome was not so good, since after all, they were never close again. But in fact, what is most important is that, from that moment on, he could live in peace once more, without feeling sorrow or regret, without running from something or someone.

I believe Jacob’s attitude teaches us a lesson about life: it is not possible to always evade our past, our failures, fights and frustrations. At some point, we have to pluck up the courage and humbleness needed to face them. Only thus will we be able to smile again, leaving behind us the heavy weight of evasion.

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Forwarded by Rabbi Gustavo Kraselnik, from Kol Shearith Israel Congregation, Panama.
Translated by Inés Baum and proofread by Ellen Zindler, from B’nei Israel Congregation, Costa Rica.

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